Hello, all! After a long run of posts where we read through chapters from my Very First Novel (in retrospect, maybe I should’ve made a separate section for that, I dunno), we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming! For anyone unsure what that is, I refer you to the Weekly Muse #18: typically I discuss a randomly chosen topic, I provide an update on my latest writing, and then close out with a song or other closing thought. So, let’s get started!
Reviews Various and Sundry
Since the Weekly Muse #41, I have indeed tried KFC’s new product in the American market: the Chizza.
It was maybe a decent concept. Everyone likes chicken. Everyone likes pizza. Put them together and you should get something everyone really likes, yes?
No. Much of the cheese was loose and unmelted. The thing looked like they had just taken some random chicken strips, plopped pizza sauce and cheese on it and then called it chizza. The result was an offense to the concept of pizza qua pizza.
Moving on.
I have seen the Lord of the Rings movies in their entirety perhaps once in my life. I was, shall we say, not impressed. They left out Tom Bombadil and the Scouring of the Shire and Glorfindel and all the wonderful songs and they particularly condensed the Last March of the Ents down to, as I recall, Treebeard coming out of the forest and being surprised at what Saruman had done, cutting trees down and so forth.
That was not what happened in the book. The Entmoot deliberated for several days, yes, but then they decided to intervene and they did and it was awesome. They sang an entire marching song about it.
Did they sing the song in the movie?
They did not.
Instead we end up with a meme about Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of Legolas taking the hobbits to Isengard.
And speaking of Hobbits, it’s one thing to talk about the LOTR movies; I haven’t seen them and probably won’t, but I will admit the music is really good. I actually enjoyed Amazon’s Rings of Power series, but then I haven’t read the Silmarillion so I understand I might’ve got things backwards on that point. But the Hobbit movies? Why, in heaven’s name, why did we need three count ‘em three honking big Peter Jackson massive Hobbit movies for a book that’s a completely different mood than the LOTR series and maybe, what, a quarter the size? If that?
I refuse to acknowledge them on principle, although I will concede that the Misty Mountains song is a decent variation. But the rest are unnecessary. Anyhow.
Writing Update
I am currently in the middle of two what you might call longer-term writing projects, both of which are nearly concluded. One is the superhero serial Quarks of the Heart, which is 11 episodes with two to go (plus an epilogue, probably). I am nearly certain that I will actually make the 13-episode count, thanks to the outline inspired by the Save the Cat method. (There is no cat in the story, but even so.)
The other is an as-yet-untitled sequel to the second book in the Constance Series, The Ballad of Evinrude and Eulalie. I’m 43,891 words in, aiming for a 50K word count or thereabouts, which is usually what I aim all my novels for. Unlike Quarks of the Heart, this one is not outlined. I’m hoping it all straightens out in editing, yes? Of course yes.
One small programming note: I’m thinking of resurrecting the Ask the Captain column: for those of you new to this particular mad wholesome corner of the Internet, this was an in-character advice column written by Captain Happily Married, with occasional cameos by Super Soccer Mom, Meg Atomic, and others. Usually I wrote the questions as well, but you’re welcome to contribute your own: below is an example of an AMA-style post which went hilariously well:
Closing Time
You know something that will never not be funny? (I know, it’s a double negative, bear with me). The kazoo. The kazoo is inherently hilarious. The name’s funny, the sound’s funny: every element is amusing. As evidence, I present what has become one of my favorite videos: Maurice Ravel’s Bolero, as performed on the Kazoo:
Until next time,
Michael