1: Meet Cute Boom

And When Two Villains Woo: An Edison City Love Story

If you’re new to Edison City, catch up with the Edison City Index! For events immediately preceding this one, check out 2.17 Seconds into Never! And finally, if you like this story or others in this ‘Stack, don’t forget to comment, like, subscribe, etc.!

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As Candystriper, loyal henchwoman to the Malevolent Med-Student, raced along the interstate at incredible unsafe speeds in a stolen police car, a swarm of properly occupied police cars in hot pursuit with sirens blazing and a block of highly volatile and potentially radioactive thrudanium in the seat beside her, she couldn’t help but think of the first time she and her boss had met. There’d been police back then, too.

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It all started when the Malevolent Med-Student, working with a hired man from the Henchmans’ Union whom he knew as Greg, attempted to rob a laboratory. Unfortunately Greg was incompetent and forgot to gas up the getaway car, but Greg doesn’t come into this story. At any rate, as the Malevolent Med-Student stormed into the laboratory, a rudimentary death ray held high, he found himself facing not an armed security guard but an unarmed and very bored receptionist. “Who’re you?” she asked curiously.

“Ah…” the Malevolent Med-Student said, holding the death ray. He wasn’t used to being greeted that way. Terror, yes, fear, sure, ferocious opposition from heroes in capes absolutely, but mild interest? That was new.

“I’m Annabelle,” she said, filling the pause in the conversation. “Annabelle C. Maloney. I’m only working here because I’m trying to save up to go to Disneyland. Never been, have you?”

“No,” said the Malevolent Med-Student. “I find I’m viscerally annoyed by talking mice. Also there’s the cost.”

“Yeah, I getcha,” Annabelle said. “It’s super expensive, it really is. Like I’ve been working at this place three months now and I can’t even afford the plane to get there yet let alone the rides and I hear they’ve got some good news ones now like there’s one based on Star Wars but I forget which ones I think maybe the one with baby Yoda except I don’t think he’s a baby technically but anyway that ride might be in Florida though I don’t remember which but anyway it doesn’t matter ‘cause I can’t get to either one you know which is why I’m working here and of course I got the overnight shift working reception but nobody comes in at night so duh I don’t even know why they need me anyway do you?”

The Malevolent Med-Student found himself amazed at how many words a single person could get out between breaths. “No,” he said, still taking it in. “Perhaps they’re trying to fill out their payroll. Hospitals hiring candystripers and so forth.”

Then he paused. “But if you work here, you would know where they keep the vironite.”

“Oh sure,” Annabelle said. “That stuff’s back there.” She waved at a closet. “I think it’s in the blue boxes, or maybe it’s the red-”

The Malevolent Med-Student crossed the corridor and blasted open the door with one shot from his death ray. “Neither,” he said. “It’s the green ones.” He snatched several and turned to go. “Nice meeting you.”

“Oh,” Annabelle said. “You’re leaving?”

“Yes,” the Malevolent Med-Student said slowly. He had thought that was obvious.

“Well, it’s just…I don’t get to meet people much, working third shift, and I thought… I thought you might want to hang around. You seem nice?”

He blinked. Of all the things he had been called over his admittedly brief start as a supervillain, nice wasn’t one he’d heard yet. “Well, look, Miss, ah, whatever your name was, I really do need to get-”

Just then his phone buzzed. Annoyed at being interrupted, he checked it. At that exact moment one of the lab’s security guards came around the corner and saw the two of them, the Malevolent Med-Student holding the boxes, Annabelle by the open closet door. “What in the-” he yelled.

The Malevolent Med-Student fired off a death-ray blast, missed, and said a foul word. “You’ll get him next time maybe?” Annabelle said encouragingly.

“It’s not that, although I do need to work on the recoil as it throws off my aim,” the Malevolent Med-Student said. “It’s my henchman; he’s supposed to be driving my getaway car, but apparently he ran low on gas so he picked now of all times to go back for a fill-up!”

“Oh, hey, I could drive,” Annabelle offered. “I’ve got a car! It’s full up on gas, not the fastest but-”

“Good enough, candystriper!” said the Malevolent Med-Student, dashing outside. He paused for a second in the parking lot as she came up behind him.

“Which is yours?”

“There!” she said, dashing to the little car’s side, throwing open the door and popping the locks. “Oh, hey, I don’t suppose you’re paying-”

“Yes, yes, all right, same rate as the other one, now take off!”

“Done!” she said, and dived into the driver’s seat as he climbed in the other side. “Hey, that thing you said, candystriper, kinda catchy, you think?”

They tore away down the road as police sirens wailed in the distance, the Malevolent Med-Student wondering just what exactly he had gotten himself into.

Read the Next Episode.

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