The Weekly Muse #35
In Which We have a Dramatic Staring Moment
Last week in the read-through of my Very First Novel, our heroes finally arrived at the Southern Forest and came face to face with….*dramatic pause*…the Raccoon Brethren! What happens next? Let’s find out!
Nothing had ever scared Lucy so much in her life as those mobs of yelling, waving raccoons. She wondered desperately if she could get away before they attacked, but they were surrounded. Lucy prayed rapidly for some sort of supernatural intervention from God.
Sean too was terribly afraid, but despite that, he managed to get a glimpse of the curious weapons the wild brethren of the trees wielded. He saw strange corkscrew-shaped swords, long rugged spears equipped with crude metal spearheads, and curious slings loaded with jagged pieces of metal. Sean noted with a shudder that the metal shards were razor-sharp and deadly.
For a second, nobody moved. The Raccoon Brethren stood poised to attack. Then, suddenly, Lukewil sprang into action. He emitted a stream of rapid-fire orders at his mice. Within seconds, they had pushed their logboats on both sides on the Clearstream. They spread out in a protective barrier around the ship, bows loaded, arrows facing out. Conrad followed Lukewil’s lead and barked out orders at the other questors. They rapidly took up battle. positions. Luther flew up and hovered above the ship, ready to swoop down upon the raccoons. Lucy loaded her bow with quivering fingers and took aim at the trees. Sean, Alexan, Shenan, Conrad, and Dwayne took up stone-laden slings and prepared to fire. There was a momentary lull as both sides waited to see what the other would do.
One of the raccoons stepped out onto the bank and leveled his spear at the questors. His fur was light gray, almost white, unlike the dark gray and black of the other raccoons. Like the others, the raccoon wore a headband of elaborate weave, beautifully decorated with strange patterns and drawings. However, this raccoon's headband, unlike the others, bore several feathers and shiny chips of rock. These marks of distinction gave Conrad the impression that this was some kind of chieftain.
The raccoon spoke out harshly. "Chakk! Why you come on Raccoon land?"
Everyone looked to Conrad. He answered the Raccoon Chieftain's question, trying hard to keep his voice from shaking. "We have come to find the Lost Island and rescue Prince Patrick!" (Conrad figured that the direct approach was the best one, under the circumstances.)
Conrad's bold answer threw the Raccoon Brethren into an uproar. They chattered and argued among themselves, their shrill voices creating such a din that the Raccoon Chieftain's voice was drowned out tbr several minutes. Finally, he managed to restore order. He turned to Conrad. "Cochakk! You speak truth? You come to find Prince?"
"Yep," Dwayne answered boldly., "and weh've come ta b'friend y'all as well, at least weh wuz until y'all stahted attackin' us,"
If Conrad's answer had caused some uproar, Dwayne's pronouncement threw the entire hand into chaos. They exclaimed and chattered vociferously, waving their weapons at each other and in some cases, even biting and scratching at each other when the argument got particularly energetic. The hubbub lasted for several minutes until the Raccoon Chieftain managed to regain order. His expression was a mixture of confusion and suspicion. "Chakko! You must see High Chieftain! He say what do!"
Immediately, the entire assembly began cheering and howling joyously, The Raccoon Brethren turned and began to swing off through the trees. The Raccoon Chieftain started to follow, then he noticed the companions' hesitation. "Chakka! No fear! We keep boats safe, not harm you. We take you to High Chieftain, he know what do!"
The companions looked to Conrad for guidance. "Looks like we don't have much choice. C’mon, guys, they can’t hurt us too much, right?"
"Oh, of course! Just because they are uncivilized barbarians who have completely dominated the Southern Forest for years and have terrorized the surrounding area so much that every other Sirian hates and fears them doesn't mean that they would hurt us!" Alexan remarked sarcastically. Conrad ignored him and followed the Raccoon Chieftain. The companions were hesitant at first, but they soon realized that they had no other choice. So, the questors followed Conrad into the woods.
The Raccoon Brethren traveled with great speed and alacrity through the trees. They deftly leaped front one branch to another, as easily as if they were walking on the ground. The companions, on the other hand, stumbled and tripped as they blazed through the long over-grown trails on the ground. Finally, about an hour spent laboriously pushing their way through thick tangles of shrubbery and winding their way through towering masses of trees, the exhausted companions found themselves in a large clearing. The clearing was ringed with towering oaks, monarchs of the wood. Sean looked about the clearing. "Hey, where are the houses?"
The Raccoon Chieftain turned and, with an expression of amusement, replied to Sean's question with a question of his own. "Houses? Where you think Raccoon Brethren keep houses? Look up!" He pointed upwards.
Accordingly, Sean looked up. He was very surprised by what he saw. In the huge tops of the trees were a number of large treehouses! All were dark-brown, and coated with greenery, to blend in with the leafy over-spreading canopies of the treetops. The treehouses looked lopsided and ramshackle, but despite their first appearance, they were obviously very sturdy and built to last. The community in the treetops was practically swarming with raccoons. They were everywhere! Raccoon mothers doing housework, raccoon children playing in the trees and on the ground, and raccoon warriors practicing with their weapons.
Lucy noticed that many of the Raccoon Brethren warriors were female. She asked Luther about it. "From the multiple works of literature I have meticulously analyzed concerning the Fraternity of the Procyon lotora, I was able to determine that the composition of their military forces does include many female raccoons. I believe this is so because of the unique characteristics of their society that bases meritorious qualities largely upon one's dexterity in armed conflicts. Despite their name, the Fraternity of the Procyon lotora species is at least 43% female, and this percentage reflects almost proportionally to their military."
"Oh," Lucy said. She had hardly understood a word Luther had said, but she decided that she would get a translation later. She followed the others up a wide rope ladder, which led into the largest of the treehouses. This treehouse was at least twice the size of the others, and was clearly used as a town hall and community meeting place. As the companions walked in, Sean was surprised to find the hall packed with Raccoon Brethren. They lined the wooden bleachers on either side of the hall, and they crowded together on the floor and near the doorway. When the twenty-eight questors walked in, the crowd immediately surged towards them. They chattered excitedly, each one asking a thousand questions and not waiting for any answers. For a moment there was total confusion and pandemonium, which gave Conrad a picture of what it must have been like at the Tower of Babel.
Finally, the Raccoon Chieftain managed to regain order. He chattered for a few minutes in the strange raccoon dialect to the Raccoon Brethren assembled there, before finally turning to the companions. “Kochakk! I have spoken to Brethren! I tell them ‘bout you! Soon, High Chieftain come and tell us what to do with you!”
At that moment, a horn sounded outside the hall. A door opened, and a raccoon darted through. He held up his paws and proclaimed loudly, "High Chieftain here! He come now! Chakka! Brethren, salute High Chieftain Zakkle Rakkspear, ruler of all raccoons!”
A tall, powerful raccoon strode through the door. He was fully a head taller than the other raccoons, with a long striped tail, brawny arms and legs, and a short, thin beard. The High Chieftain of the Raccoon Brethren bore a long corkscrew sword and an elaborately decorated headband, studded with many glinting chips of rock and embellished with numbers of vivid feathers. However, his main mark of distinction was a shining golden medallion, dangling from a necklace made of colorful beads and bit of white bone. The medallion was emblazoned with an intricate design, depicting two spear-wielding raccoons on either side of a gigantic oak. On the oak's trunk was the letter R.
The High Chieftain raised his sword and saluted the Raccoon Brethren, then he walked to the far end of the hall, opposite from the companions. He sat down on an ornate wooden throne, which was covered with greenery. The High Chieftain faced the small band of questors. His voice was commanding and unafraid. "Chokkah! Why you trespass on my land?"
Conrad paused, He did not want to say the wrong thing to the High Chieftain of the Raccoon Brethren. The look of wildness in Zakkle's eyes made Conrad very nervous. He decided to try the "O-mighty-king, may-you-live-forever-" approach. "O great High Chieftain, may you live forever! Rest assured, um, we have not come to trespass on your domain, O noble, um, highness, most majestic, supreme, um., or something, anyway, we've come, to, uh, you know, um …"
Sean shook his head hopelessly. He looked at the High Chieftain, wondering what he would think of Conrad's diplomatic breakdown. To his astonishment, he saw signs of amusement in Zakkle's eyes "Chaka! Now, maybe you tell plain truth," he advised. "Why you come here?"
Conrad decided to follow Zakkle's advice. He told the High Chieftain everything, from the time the three kids had arrived in Sirilan, to their journey to Rocklawn. From there, he related what happened when they met Evan Ramsey and they learned of the Legend of the Lost Island. The Raccoon Brethren expressed much surprise when Conrad told this part of their story, but Za.kkle kept silent and showed no emotion. Conrad continued on with the tale, relating their travels to Mirk and then down the Sapphire River. He told of their encounters with Burrtail and Rahdii and their skirmishes with the Tara Raiders.
Finally, Conrad came to the point where they had been ambushed by the Raccoon Brethren. “And that’s what happened, sir. We were ambushed by your tribe, but when Dwayne mentioned that we wanted to befriend you and find the Lost Island, the Chieftain decided that we should see you. So, here we are.”
Zakkle leaned back in his chair. He sighed wearily. “How I know you speak truth? You maybe lie! Come to kill Prince, not save! Others have come before. Say they seek Prince, but only want kill him. We slay them, why we not slay you?”
Conrad shrugged. “For one thing, you can see that we are not Tara Raiders. Tara Raiders are wolves, foxes, rats, weasels, other vermin, and evil humans. Our group has a jackrabbit, an owl, twenty-one mice, and the two sons of Lord Ramsey, besides my two friends. I assure you, on my honor, we have not come to kill the Prince. We came to save him!”
Zakkle frowned. “Chookachah! Maybe you bring rabbit, owl, mice, and friends to trick me! Maybe they really Tara Raiders in disguise! So, how I know?” he challenged.
Conrad shrugged. “You’ll just have to decide whether you believe us or not.” He stepped back a pace and waited to see what Zakkle would do.
Silence fell as the High Chieftain pondered the dilemma that lay before him. For several minutes, no one said anything. Finally, Zakkle stood. He moved closer to the companions. “Let me look in eyes,” he said. “If you are traitors, I will know.”
The High Chieftain looked hard at Conrad’s eyes for a moment. Conrad hardly breathed with suspense. Finally, Zakkle stepped back. There was a look of satisfaction in his wild eyes. “You no traitors. You friends of High Chieftain. Raccoon Brethren welcome you to Rivenwood!”
A cheer went up from the assembled crowd. As the Raccoon Brethren gathered around them to (very enthusiastically) welcome the questors, Sean noticed that Luther had a look of awe upon his face. "We are currently located in Rivenwood? The legendary hideaway of the Fraternity of the Procyon lotor? I am greatly astonished by this revelation!” (Luther was somewhat surprised)
Sean would have asked Luther about Rivenwood., hut he was interrupted. The door into the hall flew open and a scruffy raccoon burst through. The raccoon was obviously a veteran of many fights, for he was covered with battle scars and had a black patch over one eye.
The raccoon pushed his way through the crowd to Zakkle. He spoke rapidly to the High Chieftain in a rough voice. Zakkle held up his paws and called for order. When silence finally fell, the High Chieftain announced, "Chieftain Rokkachan come from Sapphire! He report see many big boats! Boats carry many Tara Raiders, big fox twoswords, also cats! They come seek. Prince!"
Cries of outrage rose from the crowd. Shenan drew his scimitar. "That fox must be Rakkla, commander of the Tara Raiders! We must challenge these villainous vermin!'"
The crowd cheered wildly and started towards the doors to fight Rakkla there and then. Zakkle called out loudly, "Wait! Not all go. I, some others, take friends to Lost Island. Chieftain Rokkachan lead war party to fight invaders!"
As Rokkachan lead the wildly cheering Raccoon Brethren out of the hall. Sean turned to the High Chieftain. "You know where the Lost Island is?"
"You come with me now," Zakkle commanded. "I tell you story 'bout prince.”
2024 me’s notes:
Well, yeah. There they are. The Raccoon Brethren. I think it could’ve worked, except the thing that throws me now upon rereading it is the description of the High Chieftain, Zakkle. Just for fun I tasked the Substack AI to give me a picture of Dwayne Johnson as a raccoon and a raccoon with burly arms. Results below. I’m not sure whether this says more about my ability as a writer, at least back then, or the capabilities of AI, but either way, there you are.
Until next time,
Michael
AI is peculiar
The High Chieftain kind of reminds me of the Yiddish -speaking "Indian" chief Mel Brooks portrayed in "Blazing Saddles". ("Schwarzes!") I don't think that was your intention, but he still does...