The Weekly Muse #20
Chapter One: Math, Main Characters, and an Argument Blistering with Witty Repartee
Last week, I reported how my long-lost copy of my first novel, Quest for the Lost Island, finally resurfaced, and we went through the Prologue. This week we continue our read-through with chapter one!
"Now, when we multiply the fraction by its reciprocal, what is our answer?"
There was a moment of silence. Mr. Redmond scanned the classroom. Most of the students were either asleep or daydreaming. Mr. Redmond was known throughout the school as the most boring seventh grade teacher in the world. Today, he was deep into a lesson on fraction multiplication. Of the class's 26 students, only one student's hand had shot up like a rocket.
Mr. Redmond sighed wearily. He was a very smart man and (he believed) an excellent teacher. Why was it that most of his class always appeared to be falling asleep during his classes? Why did only one of his twenty-six students ever willingly answer questions? If it weren't for that one student, he would have resigned long ago.
He spoke in an impatient voice. "Would anyone else besides Sean like to answer this question? Anyone? Anyone at all? Jordan, how about you?"
Jordan Cosh was a big tough boy who had firmly established his reputation as the school bully. His main reason for going to school was to bully other kids and steal their lunch money. He loved beating people up just for the fun of it. At that moment, he was diligently doing everything he could to bother, annoy, and disturb his classmates. Furthest from his mind was the idea of actually paying attention to the lesson. Mr. Redmond knew that Jordan probably didn't even know what a reciprocal was, but he hoped against hope that Jordan just might have been paying attention for once.
Unfortunately, math was Jordan's worst subject. He wasn't even sure what a fraction was, let alone a reciprocal. Not only that, but he had been annoying his classmates during the entire lesson and hadn't heard a word Mr. Redmond said. Jordan had not a clue what the answer was. He stalled, trying to think of a way to get out of the question. "Uh... well...um...it's...uh..."
Mr. Redmond looked disappointed. He turned to the rest of the class. "Would someone else like to help Jordan out?" Mr. Redmond scanned the class hopefully. Sean's hand was still up in the back. Mr. Redmond let out a tired sigh. "Sean?"
Sean immediately responded, "If you multiply a fraction by its reciprocal, the product equals one."
Mr. Redmond nodded. "Yes, that is correct, Sean, thank you." As Mr. Redmond moved on with the lesson, Jordan shot a glare at Sean. Fortunately, Sean was concentrating on his math textbook and didn't notice.
Later, during recess, the class was playing baseball when Jordan noticed Sean sitting by himself on the bleachers. Sean, being more interested in books than sports, often found a way to retreat to the bleachers and read a book he brought from home. Jordan smiled. It was payback time. He casually slipped away from the game and strolled towards the bleachers.
Conrad Stephens had just crossed home plate when he happened to look up and see Jordan walking towards the bleachers. Conrad knew what was going to happen next.
He'd seen it happen many times. Until now, Conrad hadn't done anything about it. Jordan always had several sidekicks who stood around and made sure no one interfered when Jordan beat up someone else. Conrad's conscience had always bothered him because he had not tried harder to stop Jordan. But now, today, Jordan was about to beat up one of his best friends. Conrad quickly excused himself from the game and hurried towards the bleachers.
Jordan approached Sean. "Hey, brain-boy, what are you doing?" he said.
Sean looked up. "Oh, Jordan, I was just reading. I..."
Jordan interrupted. "Hey, Sean, how'd you like that film in science class earlier, the one about outer space?"
Sean was confused. He knew about Jordan's reputation as a bully. Why was Jordan being friendly with him? "I liked it, but why..."
"Good," Jordan said, "cause you're about to see some stars!" He grabbed Sean's shirt and jerked him up.
Sean was terrified. "Jordan, wha-why are you doing this?"
"No one makes me look stupid, like you did in math class, brain-boy!" Jordan growled.
Despite his fear, Sean couldn't stop himself from making a quick retort. "Oh, I didn't make you look stupid, Jordan. I think you did that all by yourself." He regretted the remark the instant it left his mouth. Jordan's face turned red and he gave Sean a powerful shove backward. Then he stepped forwards and pulled his left fist back. Just as he was about to swing, Conrad pushed past two of Jordan's sidekicks and leaped in between the two.
Jordan glared at Conrad "Get out of my way, you moron, or I'll hit you so hard, you'll be breathin' out of the back of your head!"
Conrad smiled fearlessly. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
"Well, you're not me, so move it!" Jordan growled.
Conrad still had that maddening smile. "Or what?"
Jordan snarled, "Or I’ll give you a free trip to the hospital!"
Conrad pretended to look scared. "Oh, no! I'm terrified! Really. I'm shaking in my tennis shoes. Honest."
Several of the kids standing around snickered. Jordan swept them with his infamous death glare, but as he did, Conrad made a funny face behind his back. Jordan suspected something was going on when he heard the laughter behind his back and whirled around to face Conrad. Conrad quickly tried to come up with an expression of solemn seriousness and angelic innocence, but the result made him look so comical that it sent dozens of kids into hysterical laughter.
If there was one thing Jordan hated, it was being laughed at. His face turned red and he lunged forward, fists raised. Conrad quickly ducked then swung a series of fast and hard blows. Within two minutes, Jordan was lying flat on his back.
The kids who were standing around cheered wildly. Some of Jordan's friends started forward, but they quickly changed their minds when they saw how rapidly popular Conrad had become. Jordan slowly stood up. Conrad said quietly, "Now, I suggest that you walk quietly back inside. Oh, and I wouldn't be beating anyone else up if I were you. Otherwise…"
Jordan got the point. He slipped quickly away. Conrad turned to Sean. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks, Conrad," Sean said.
"Hey, what are friends for?" Conrad replied.
Sean started to say something but he caught sight of someone approaching. "Oh, no, oh no, no, no, no, why me? Why me, of all people?"
Conrad looked puzzled. "What, what's going on?"
Sean pointed at the person approaching. "Over there, see? In the pink dress?" Conrad still looked puzzled, and then he realized what Sean was looking at. "It's just Lucy. What's the big deal?"
Sean looked surprised. "Conrad, you know what I think about girls! I mean, I know I'm probably the only seventh-grader in history to think that way, but... look, we can talk about this later. Right now, I've got to get out of here before... oh, it's too late." Sean sighed. "She's seen us."
Conrad was just starting to reply when he was interrupted by Lucy's high-pitched voice. "Oh, hi, Conrad!"
Lucy Shackleford was undoubtedly the prettiest girl in the school. She had long blonde hair and big sky-blue eyes that sent almost every boy in the seventh grade (in the entire school, for that matter) into heights of ecstasy whenever she looked at him. Every boy except one.
Sean Christopher (who, by the way, was short, thin, and had dark brown, almost black hair in case you were wondering) disliked all girls. Conrad, on the other hand, liked girls -within reason. Lucy Shackleford was one of Conrad's best friends, but one of Sean's worst enemies.
Secretly, Sean enjoyed talking to Lucy, not because he liked her, but because Sean enjoyed arguing with her and using his intelligence to outsmart her. Lucy was fairly intelligent herself and the two had had many a bitter argument. This was why Sean didn't take off running back into the school building, as he would have done if another girl had approached them.
Sean greeted Lucy in his typical friendly and open style. "Oh, look, it's a chimpanzee! Oops, my mistake, it's just Lucille," he said with exaggerated emphasis on her name.
Lucy hated her full name. She felt that it made her sound silly and childish. She especially hated being called Lucille by Sean. This was why Lucy responded the way she did. "Well, hello to you too, Sean Eustace Christopher!"
Lucy had hit Sean's weak point. If there was one thing in life that Sean hated, it was his middle name. His mother had named him after one of her favorite characters in the Chronicles of Narnia, Eustace Scrubb. Sean had read the series many times and loved it, but he kind of wished Lewis had named his character differently.
Sean despised his middle name and tried as hard as he could to keep it a secret. Only a few people knew about it, including Conrad. Lucy had discovered it when she happened to overhear a conversation between Sean and Conrad, during which Sean had mentioned his middle name. Lucy had saved her knowledge of Sean's secret, hoping to use it one day in an argument. She hadn't meant to reveal his secret today, but it had just slipped out.
Sean turned first white, than red. He looked speechless for a moment, and that was unusual for Sean. For a moment, Conrad thought Sean was going to attack Lucy. Fortunately, Sean managed to restrain himself. He glared at Lucy. "I may have a weird middle name, but at least I’m a boy!"
Conrad was confused. "What does that have to do with-"
Sean smirked. "Everyone knows that boys are physically, emotionally and intellectually superior to girls."
Lucy was furious. "That's not true! Girls are way better than boys!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
This could have gone on for hours, if Lucy hadn't decided to play a Bugs Bunny trick. She quickly repeated, "Are not!"
What Lucy didn't know was that Sean had seen quite a few of Bugs Bunny's cartoons, and had immediately caught on to Lucy's trick. "Ha!" he laughed. "I knew you would admit it someday!"
Conrad was about to laugh when he caught Lucy's eye. Lucy snapped, "I did. not! You tricked me!"
Sean snickered. "You just can't admit the truth, can you?"
"Boys are not better than girls, Sean!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
Conrad rolled his eyes. Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of recess. As Conrad (who, incidentally, was of average height, stocky, and had blond hair) headed back inside the school, he could hear Sean and Lucy arguing heatedly behind him.
Notes:
Yes, I know. I cringed all the way through this section. Obviously Sean and Lucy’s relationship is, shall we say, fraught. Also, notice if you will the extremely subtle descriptions of Conrad and Sean’s appearances. I’m guessing my past self wanted to get straight to the snappy dialogue so I thought I’d just throw the adjectives in and be done with it.
Also, I had not (and still haven’t) seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, so I don’t remember where I got Mr. Redmond’s “Anyone? Anyone?” line from if not that. I should also explain that when I wrote this I had been homeschooled since the first grade; I was in a public school kindergarten and started at a private school in first grade before my parents decided to switch. All that to say: I don’t know if my portrayal of the average child’s seventh-grade experience here was accurate in the strictest sense. Is a 1-26 teacher-student ratio standard? Would teachers let kids sneak their own books from home into school? (I did once, but that was a pocket illustrated abridged version of Ben Hur, and it was the 90s, and I was bored).
Anyway, there’s your character setup: Lucy’s the girl, Sean’s the Brainy One, Conrad is the muscle/Team Leader. Next week: The Adventure Begins.
Closing Time
And now for something completely different, have you ever watched that song about the Ten Plagues in The Prince of Egypt and wondered what would happen if it were metal? Well, have I found the song for you!
Never has Exodus rocked so hard.
Until next time,
Michael