The Seuss Book That Never Was

A Poem

So in tonight’s Jeopardy episode, in a category which asked for the names of Dr. Seuss books, a certain contestant answered “What Color is Your Parachute?” This was, as you might’ve guessed, not a correct answer. (The answer to the clue at issue was “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” which, if you’ve got a parachute, is oddly hilarious. I mean, if you have occasion to use it, you’re only going one place, no?)

At any rate, to show you the kind of places my mind goes, I began wondering what sort of book “What Color is Your Parachute?” might’ve been, had the good doctor written it. This is what followed.

What color is your parachute?

You wonder as you fly,

Tumbling oh so rapidly

And oh so very high!

Is your ‘chute red or is it blue?

Or might your chute be green?

Like the ground that’s rushing toward you

At a frightening rate of speed?

What color is your parachute?

Is it manila like cardboard?

You’ll find out soon enough, I fear,

As you reach for the ripcord!

In case you think Dr. Seuss wasn’t morbid like that and couldn’t possibly roll that way, I refer you to “What Was I Scared Of?” wherein the main character is haunted by a pair of pale green pants “with nobody inside ‘em!”. Q.E.D.

Closing Time

I thought it might be a good idea to end each post with something fun: a unique fact, a point of trivia, something new I learned since the last post, or perhaps occasionally a really good song I’ve recently heard. With that in mind, here’s one of my favorite bits of trivia, which I learned from an episode of Justice League Unlimited: the plastic tips at the end of your shoelaces are called aglets. Ostensibly they help to keep your shoelace fibers from unraveling. However, as anyone who watched that particular episode knows, their true purpose is sinister.

Maybe I’ll write a post about that some day.

Until next time,

Michael