The Call
Justin had always wanted to be a hero. He’d felt the impulse stirring inside him ever since the capes had become public, felt the awe and inspiration thrill his soul as he saw Gaseous Girl flame through the sky or heard the thunderclaps of Titanium-Alloy Guy’s rocket thrusters going into full sonic mode. He’d even practiced his heroic voice, and he’d gotten it down pretty well.
He had one problem, though. Justin had no powers whatsoever. For some people this wouldn’t have mattered; Titanium-Alloy Guy didn’t have abilities for example, but his secret identity had buckets of money, apparently, which explained how he could afford all the rocket thrusters, laser blasters, satellite linkups. Justin had an average office job with an average salary; he was single which afforded him some latitude in spending but not nearly enough for gadgetry, body armor, anything fun like that. And so on this ordinary Saturday as he checked his mailbox and plodded slowly back inside carrying a handful of bills and junk mail, he sighed once again. “Where’s destiny when I need her?” Justin mused.
He was heading for his living room to see if the news had reported any new cape sightings when he heard a mysterious noise coming from upstairs. It sounded oddly rhythmic. Justin went upstairs, figuring he’d just left a music-streaming app on. No joy, he found as he checked his computer and phone. The noise was slightly louder now. It was coming from the celing, he realized. It sounded like… clapping?
He paused, listening. There was a faint whisper. “Hey, it’s your birthday…”
Justin froze. There was nothing above the ceiling except the roof. Not to mention, it wasn’t his birthday. His birthday wasn’t until November. What was going on?
He tried to focus on the whisper, pinning down exactly where it was. All at once, he noticed that there was a ladder fixed in the ceiling that he was almost sure hadn’t been there before. Slowly he pulled it down and began to climb. The whisper grew louder. Hey, it’s your birthday…
Screwing up his courage, Justin climbed up to the door which he now saw was at the top of the ladder. It looked like an attic door. He didn’t have an attic. He’d known that when he’d got the place. Hey, it’s your birthday….
Cautiously he pushed open the attic door and poked his head inside. The whisper stopped. All was dark and quiet. Wildly confused, he was about to go downstairs again when suddenly the attic lights flared on and a blond woman in white robes, a halo, and by-God wings jumped out of a pile of random boxes and burst into an explosion of clapping.
“HEY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!” she yelled at the top of her enthusiastic angelically enhanced lungs and Justin nearly fell back down the ladder in sheer terror.
When the light show finally settled and he poked his head back up into the attic space again, she was still there, perched on top the boxes. “Hi!” she exclaimed. “You’re Justin, right? Justin…” she whipped out a flashcard from somewhere and checked, “Case? Okay, cool. I’m Eloise! You can call me ‘Lo for short! Anyway, on this the day of your birth, I, Lo, angel of the Lord, bring a message-”
“Wait…” Justin said, “Hold up. It’s not actually my-”
She hadn’t noticed and rolled right on. “… and therefore YOU are supposed to go forth and seek out the Relic of St. Gengulphus and wield the power it will bestow! Also you’re gonna have to get married, ‘cause it doesn’t work unless you do. So yeah. Yay!”
“But-” Justin said. “Who’s-”
“Great!” Lo said. “Here’s a map, also I set up a flight for you on an airline, also here’s a backpack of stuff you might need, also I called you a car to take you to the airport. Cool? Cool. Bye! Have fun! Get married!”
She disappeared in a blinding flash. Justin found himself, quite suddenly, standing on the sidewalk outside his house, holding a map and a backpack, as a car came down the street towards him.
“Huh,” Justin said. Before he could say anything else, the car slid up by the curb.
“You Justin? Ride to the airport?” the driver said.
“I guess,” he said. He climbed into the backseat, stowed the backpack beside him, and settled in for the ride, wondering what on Earth would happen next. Or, possibly, above it.
Editorial Note: As with Secret Relic, this was inspired by a prompt from
: Ominous Birthday Clapping begins in an attic you didn’t know you had. What happens to Justin? Will we see Lo again? We’ll find out next week!
THIS IS AMAZING!!!