Gaseous Girl and the Winds of Time 6: Doppelgangfight
She's a flying brick with the power to control one of the fundamental states of matter, but no one takes her seriously. That's about to change.
Previously, our story flashed back to the creation of Gaseous Girl’s nemesis, Hiccup Holly. We continue in the present day with our heroine fighting crime, unaware that Behemoth Bob is on the rampage…
The one thing Lionel didn’t want that night was the attention of a superhero. When you have no superpowers, you don't look forward to going up against someone who can lift a garbage truck and swat you with it. A superhero will look at stopping their small act of lawlessness as a mere diversion, an opening scene to establish their character before they go charging off after the apocalyptic threat. Worse, however, are the superheroes who devote themselves entirely to stopping small crimes, the night-time vigilantes with expensive gadgets and jet-powered cars. These can pose real difficulties for non-superpowered people operating on limited budgets. Lionel didn’t have henchmen like the big guys. At best, he had a public defender.
That night Lionel engaged in a bit of burglary, nothing fancy, just a smash and grab from a jewelry store. The police were on their way, he knew, but he had a fast getaway car and a head start, and he knew his escape route down cold. Then, as he barreled down a side street, something thudded into the roof of his car. Lionel knew all too well what that thud meant. It sounded like boots. Superhero boots.
He slammed to a stop, hoping to fling whoever was atop his car away. It didn't work. Instead, an arm clad in purple spandex smashed through his window. Lionel was pulled right outside and flung to the sidewalk. A figure in purple and black towered above him. "Right, you," Gaseous Girl said. "You're about to be the dissolving cornstarch in the Stew of Justice!"
"What?" Lionel said.
Madeleine winced. "Yeah, I know. It's a lousy metaphor. Sorry. Long day. I've been wiped from existence, you know. Time paradoxes, Shrieking Tree Demon, my cousin Gregory, it’s complicated. Anyway, why don't you surrender before I have to use another lousy metaphor, okay?"
Lionel reached for his gun. Madeleine melted it in his hand. More fire blazed around her. "Okay. Last warning. Surrender, or I put you someplace you don’t want to go."
Maybe she was bluffing, Lionel thought, but maybe she wasn't. He didn't know her. She could be the vigilante type that crossed the line and killed punks like him, or the antihero with a heart of gold type that talked tough but showed mercy in hopes that he would reform. He was unarmed and she was a flying brick with flame-blasts. Lionel didn't want to bet on the antihero type and be wrong. He surrendered.
Madeleine flagged down a passing police cruiser, and soon Lionel had been whisked away to disappear into the state penal system. Having wrapped that up, Madeleine was about to fly away again when she heard a loud boom in the distance. A very loud boom. "The never-ending battle," Madeleine sighed.
She hoped it would be a straightforward fight. Fly in, smash the alien behemoth monster rampaging through her city, fly out again. She liked those kinds of fights. Once in a while, it was nice not to worry about unraveling a tangled mystery, or sorting out the ramifications of time things, or worrying over the personal implications of the latest superhero legislation muddling through Congress. Once in a while, it was nice to just fly in and smash stuff. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, here's the key to the city. It was simple, and it was fun.
It started out that way, at least. Behemoth Bob had just flattened a local playground and was bearing down on the library. Defending libraries was fun and heroic, and earned a lot of good press. Gaseous Girl planted herself in front of the modern art sculpture on the library steps, readied fire blasts, and waited for the monster to attack. He appeared to be taking his time. She occupied herself by trying to make out what the sculpture was. It appeared to be a metal octopus fighting its octopus friends for possession of a volleyball. Gaseous Girl never had understood modern art.
Then Behemoth Bob rumbled around the corner. He bellowed something incomprehensible at her. Some supervillains you could try to reason with, maybe offer a chance to surrender. Alien behemoths, on the other hand, didn't run that way. Gaseous Girl launched herself from the steps, prepared to crash into his side and knock him over, then pummel him with flame blasts until he saw reason or went unconscious. Either one worked, really.
Then a woman in a flame-pink uniform and spangly glitter boots slammed down in front of her, blocking her way. "Stand back, y'all!" she cried merrily. "Mad Maddie's coming through!"
"Say what?" Gaseous Girl said. She didn't have the chance to say anything else, as lightning blasted from the new arrival's outstretched hand and thoroughly zapped the astonished behemoth.
"And boom goes the monster!" Mad Maddie exclaimed. Then she spun enthusiastically towards Gaseous Girl. "Hi!" she chirped. "Maddie Smith, Mad Maddie to my friends, nice to meet 'cha."
"But.... I'm Madeleine Smith." Gaseous Girl swiftly put two and two together. "You're a parallel universe version of me. Wonderful. I just hate time things. "
"I'm a wha?" Mad Maddie said.
The behemoth meanwhile, had only been stunned. Now it came roaring to its feet again, anxious to smash the person who had so tormented it. The two Gaseous Girls prepared to fight it, but now a cool electronically modulated voice cut in. "Step aside please. Thank you." A whoosh, and a whump, and a rocket had slammed into the behemoth, laying it out flat. Madeleine and her alternate turned around.
On the step just next to the octopi sculpture stood a figure in violet metal armor, replete with guns, rocket thrusters, and glowing eyes. Gaseous Girl almost thought it was a robot, but then the metal faceplate popped open. "Oh, no, you're not-"
"Good evening. I have the honor to be Lady Madeleine Smith-Harrington, alias Violet Heartfire, of the Superhero Corps. Whom might I be addressing?"
Gaseous Girl rolled her eyes. "I'm Madeleine. So's she. So's you. This is getting fun."
"I beg your pardon?"
Mad Maddie giggled. "Lookit Downton Abbey over here."
Lady Smith-Harrington's faceplate slammed shut again. "There is no call to be rude, whomever you might be. I was only inquiring-"
"Okay, let's calm down here," Gaseous Girl said, trying to get hold of the situation. "Look, Lonely Heart-"
"Violet Heartfire. Vi-o-let. Heart. Fire. I did not imagine this would be difficult to remember."
"You ain't even got a heart on there!" Mad Maddie observed.
"It's symbolic," Violet Heartfire said frostily.
"Symbolic my-"
The behemoth chose that fortuitous moment to stagger up for one more go at it. "I'll handle this," Gaseous Girl said. She took one step. Behemoth Bob suddenly vanished in a spray of red light. In its place, a little gerbil skittered around on the ground.
"Was that horrible creature just transformed into a gerbil?" asked the bewildered Lady Smith-Harrington. Then her question answered itself, as a figure cloaked in deep indigo abruptly materialized in midair above the gerbil. The figure threw back its hood, revealing a very familiar face. She yelled something in words that sounded an awful lot like Latin.
“And another one,” said Madeleine Smith, the original. “I really, really hate time things.”