Ask the Captain: Musical Edition

[Editorial note: the song that follows is to the tune of Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne]

Hello and welcome to our weekly advice column by Captain Happily Married, Edison City’s heroic defender against evil, injustice, and interpersonal conflicts! Today’s topic: poetry!

Dear Captain:

My name is Dave,

Walked into a cave,

Thought I’d make like Indiana Jones,

Found a weird ring-

Then came the curse,

Now I just talk verse

I try to fight crime,

Can’t do much with rhyme,

The bad guys, they all just laugh at me

So what do I do?

I’m asking you,

How do I stop rhyming constantly?

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Dear Dave:

You are a rhyming guy

I’m not really sure just why?

But here’s what I think you should do:

If you still have the ring

Go back and return that thing

After that your rhymes should be all through!

In justice,

Captain Happily Married

If you’d like to submit questions to be answered by Captain Happily Married, leave a comment or email with your question! To read a story featuring further adventures of the Captain and Co., go here. For more adventures of the superheroes and regulars in Edison City, subscribe below!