Hello and welcome to our weekly advice column by Captain Happily Married, Edison City’s heroic defender against evil, injustice, and inter-personal conflicts! Today’s topic: morale!
Dear Captain Happily Married,
So, I’m a cape like yourself and I’ve been trying to improve the mood on hero patrols lately, but unfortunately, I’ve got a problem. Everybody’s got their own way of laughing, right? Some people sorta giggle, some people snort through their nose, some people do it in one go. I do it real loud and hysterical, especially if I find something real funny. Like the one Audrey told us the other night about the cake. It was a wedding cake, and she said it was sad because, this is what’s funny, she said it was in tiers! Get it? In tiers! Oh man! We all cracked up, I’m telling you! It was hilarious!
illegible due to burn marks
So, yeah, that’s one problem; my power is lightning-control and when I let go, I accidentally fry stuff. Even a little chortle sets it off. The other problem is that half the time people think I’m doing an evil laugh like what Screaming Banshee or Doctor Circuit do, and then they attack me. Can’t the good guys yuck it up once in a while? What do I do about this?
-Not Laughing Now
Dear Not Laughing,
I truly sympathize with your problem! Once I was watching an animated television program with one of my children while my wife, Super Soccer Mom, was handling the Collapsing Durham Anomaly, and there was a particular cartoon that was so amusing, I laughed so hard that I forgot my boundless strength and cracked my recliner in two! I certainly had difficulty explaining the incident to the furniture store men while maintaining my secret identity, let me tell you! You’ll always have difficulties like this but my advice is to make sure to control your power; don’t let your power control you!
As for the second problem, I agree entirely; I don’t see why the miscreants of this city should have all the fun of a hearty laugh. This is clearly the product of relying upon easy stereotypes in our society to define heroes and villains! Besides, the worst ones I know don’t use the laugh. That’s how you know they’re dangerous. Take Professor Cthulhu, for example! To my knowledge he’s never laughed. Come to think of it, I don’t think he’s ever said anything, at all.
You know, I think there’s something funny about him. Beyond the normal range of supervillainy, I mean.
But, I digress! Carry on laughing, fellow defender of justice!
Heroically,
Captain Happily Married
If you’d like to submit questions to be answered by Captain Happily Married or Super Soccer Mom, comment below! To read a story featuring further adventures of the Captain and Co., go here. For more adventures of the superheroes and regulars in Edison City, subscribe below!