Editorial Note: Inspired by
‘s prompt: The captain said to me.Being an angel is a really nice gig, if you can get it. Eternal happiness, opportunities to be a divine messenger or an assistant in the working of miracles, nifty halo, and you can wear white after Labor Day forever. On the other hand, even as an angel, you’re working in an imperfect world, and sometimes you get into some weird stuff when you work.
Tabitha could tell all kinds of stories about that. She’d been assigned to Search and Rescue ever since she’d become an angel, and she’d been pretty darn good at it. Just last month she’d saved three puppies from a burning building, not to mention all the humans in residence, without so much as a scorched wingtip. Her tally of successful saves ranked in the triple digits. She’d gotten a terse "Good job" after the puppy rescue from Michael himself, the Commander of the Heavenly Hosts. He never does that. Tabitha figured she would be with Search and Rescue forever, in every sense of the word.
Then things changed. Some scientist let loose a cloud of radioactive vapor, a mysterious amulet granted a kid magical powers, some guy fell into a vat of toxic waste. Next thing she knew, there were capes running around everywhere. When people can move dump trucks with their mind, Search and Rescue suddenly isn't so relevant.
Tabitha didn’t know what to do at first. She stuck it out for a while, but eventually, she wound up with the other assignment. She hadn’t wanted it; she had even specifically requested not to receive it when she had first won her wings. But there was a need for it, and so she’d been assigned. Even in a world with superheroes, people still die.
They may die in unique and interesting ways now, but they still die, all the same. When they do, someone's got to take them on to the afterlife: you don’t want human souls floating around unattended, much less superhuman souls. Now, that someone was Tabitha. She’d been given a briefing by Winifred, practiced her speech, and prepared as best she could. Tonight was her first on the duty.
Her halo blinked. She had an assignment. She arrived quickly on scene, ready to give the standard "Sorry you're dead now" speech. This varied only slightly in content, depending on whether your subject is going up, down, or somewhere in the middle. Tabitha was just about to run a soul-check when she realized that it wasn’t a civilian she had been called upon to assist. It was a cape.
Her halo gave her the information, and she was even more surprised. She hadn’t had overmuch time to read up on the capes, but from what she knew, Captain Midnight was nigh-invulnerable. Apparently his invulnerability didn't extend to the Kaboominator. The scorch mark of the newest superweapon on the block was impossible to miss.
She reported this back over the halo. “That’s odd,” Winifred said, “There’s been more than one of those lately. I might look into it.”
"‘Yeah, I remember hearing about that back in S&R,” Tabitha said, a slight note of regret in her voice as she glided down to the body. Just then, Captain Midnight's soul detached itself from the remains seamlessly as a square of toilet paper coming off a roll.
“That’s funny,” Tabitha said. “It’s all grey.” Usually souls were glowy bright or inky black, which helped with the eternal destination bit. She wondered if this would be one for Purgatory. Winifred had been light on that in training.
Tabitha coughed and made herself visible. “Hello,” she began, “I'm Tabitha. I'll be your angel of death this evening-"
"Hang on," the Captain's soul said. "I'm dead?"
"Yes, sir," she said with angelic patience. People who've just died tend to have a little trouble adjusting. "I realize this may be new for you, and I'm happy to provide any assistance necessary-"
"Yeah, no thanks. I've been here before," the soul growled.
"I'm sorry?"
The soul said something she couldn’t quite make out. The halo identified it as Latin. Before it could render a translation, however, to Tabitha’s astonishment the soul disappeared. She was on the point of calling for backup when the body on the ground rose to its feet, blinking and wiping the ash off its shoulder. "Right," Captain Midnight said. "What'd I miss?"
"You're alive!" she exclaimed, rather obviously.
"Yeah," Captain Midnight said. "It's kinda my thing. I've resurrected, oh, eleven times now at least. Kaboominator this time, if I remember right. I'll have to do something about that."
"But...but...." she stammered. "You died!"
"Yeah," said the Captain. "Nice to meet you. Don't think I've met you before. The last death angel I met was, um, a fella named Nathaniel, I think. They blend together after a bit."
"You....you can't come back once you've died!" she managed, still at a loss.
Captain Midnight gave his cape a dramatic flourish. "Can."
He soared away into the night, leaving Tabitha absolutely bewildered. She took a few breaths to steady herself, then she tapped her halo.
“Winifred?” she said. “We need to have a conversation with Nathaniel. Now.”