6: The Beginning of Friendships

An Edison City Supervillain Romcom

Previously on And When Two Villains Woo, the Malevolent Med-Student has reluctantly agreed to work with John Cute and use the stolen thrudanium in order to make Cute immortal! Meanwhile, the Malevolent Med-Student’s henchwoman Candystriper, having just escaped from alien captivity, is rematerializing back on Earth! Before we rejoin her, however, a brief word from our sponsor:

When the mauve and violet colors of the teleport resolved into recognizable shapes, Candystriper found herself right back in the hospital she’d been beamed out of in the first place. Unfortunately her bed was now occupied by Android Pete, and when she materialized right where Android Pete was just lying back to have a rest and tend to his ailing servo motors there was a terrific smash.

Fortunately for Candystriper (though perhaps not so much for Android Pete), the alien teleport had certain fail-safes. When the dust settled and hospital personnel came running in to see what had happened, they saw Candystriper standing atop the ruins of her hospital bed, looking extremely astonished and now in possession of a fully functional robot arm.

“Huh,” she said. “You think this thing gets wi-fi?”

She waved it to show to the hospital staff. It immediately let off an energy pulse that vaporized a nearby wall. Most people would’ve been alarmed by that; Candystriper’s reaction was somewhat different. “Ohhhhh sweet!” she exulted. “Hey, buddy, you think you can fly me out of here like the guy, what’s his name, Titanium-whatever dude’s rockets can?”

The robot arm beeped affirmatively, extended two small side-rockets, and whisked Candystriper off down the corridors, down the steps, and right through the doors of the hospital, depositing her neatly outside in the parking lot.

“Buddy,” she said, beaming at it in appreciating, “You and me are gonna be great friends.”

Candystriper was on the point of using her newly acquired robot arm to blast away into the sky when she saw the shadow of a cape behind her.

She spun around, arm raised. “Try and stop me, pal, I got a whole new thing now and it’s way more fun than Death Kazoos let me tell you!”

“Wait,” the superhero facing her said, “I know you. You were in that car. The one the other guy tossed out into space. I was just coming by to talk to….” his voice trailed off. “Well, to make sure you were, you know, not, hurt, or anything.”

Candystriper’s mouth fell open. She had moved on from that particular incident, given the excitement of her new and improved robot arm, but even so she’d more or less assumed John Cute had left her at the hospital for his own unknown purposes. This guy wasn’t him. The cape was different, he looked shorter, and his eyes were definitely different. He didn’t remind her of the Malevolent Med-Student in one of his moods; funnily enough, he didn’t remind her of the Malevolent Med-Student at all.

“Wait,” she said, “So who are you?”

“Oh,” he said, his shoulders slumping in disappointment., “I’m, um, I’m…”

His voice trailed off into a soundless mumble. “What?” Candystriper said, wondering if he was okay. Maybe he was about to get sick. She considered hitting him with one of her Power-Pepper-Uppers, dead useful in a battle if you needed a little extra zing with which to fight a superhero that can lift a small truck.

“I’m Sam Superlative,” he said at last.

“You're a little short to be that guy,” Candystriper said skeptically.

“Sam Superlative, Jr.,” he said again, cringing. “My dad… doesn’t know… I’m doing this, okay? I just… you were falling, and…”

“Oh,” Candystriper said. She’d heard of Mr. Superlative, she’d even heard he had a son, but from what she’d heard the kid’s name was Steve, not Sam. She decided to figure that part out later.

“Well,” she said, “Thanks. For saving me, you know.”

“No problem,” Sam said, looking down at his overly bright red boots. He looked like he wanted to say something else but couldn’t get it out. Candystriper decided to put him out of his misery.

“Look, I gotta go, my boss is gonna want to check in, so, see you around!” She raised her robot arm to the sky and waved. “Fly me back to the hideout, little buddy!”

As she soared away, Sam Superlative, Jr. stood desolate on the parking lot, watching until she disappeared and the jet trail faded away in the unfeeling blue sky.

Read the Next Episode.

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