Welcome to the world of Edison City, where the never-ending battle against the forces of evil includes everything from the Owl Bandit taking over the subway line downtown to the Antichrist trying to rewrite history aboard the HMS Titanic. Anything and everything is a possibility here, including flying sharks. Especially the sharks.
If you’re new here, catch up with the Edison City Index:
And now, a new adventure begins…
bee-oop
system operative
temporal anomaly detected-core memory files corrupted-data error error error
civdark mode initiated -reset required
bee-oop
-log entry begins-
What is this? Who?
What?
Everything blurry -
Remain calm.
What was that?
Hello there. I am your Helpful Onboarding and Processing for Employment guide. You may call me Hope.
Who’re you?
I am your Helpful Onboarding and Processing for Employment guide. You may call me Hope. I will provide you with suggestions and procedures on how to navigate your new environment successfully.
New environment? What?
Please remain calm. Basic orientation protocols are still uploading. Remain calm.
Calm? CALM? I don’t know who I am, I don’t even know what I am, I-
Self-awareness established. Basic orientation protocols online. Congratulations! You are Wyatt Roberts. You are employed at a bank. You are in your early thirties and male.Your relationship status is single. Your housing status is apartment. Further biographic details appended as needed [attached].
Oh. So, two questions: where am I now?
You are in a abandoned warehouse. You are surrounded by debris. You are alone.
Oh. Second question: how did I get here?
Data unavailable.
What do you mean, data unavailable? You’re supposed to be my helpful processing whatchamacallit, can’t you help me out here and tell me-
clattering sounds, door opening
“You there! Civilian! I’m Captain Midnight, there was a report of-”
Cape detected. Weapons systems armed. Cape engaged.
Wait, what? Hope, what’re you-
fitz-click-shlickt-click-KA-BLAM
Hope? …what did we just do?
Cape incapacitated. Estimated recovery time in ten minutes. Local law enforcement response detected. Calculating escape routes.
Oh, no.
Escape route found. Remote starter detected. Security override. New destination programmed.
Sound of door popping.
Get in the car, Wyatt.
Oh boy. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
Memetic reference module online.
Not now, Hope!
Vroom. Squeal. Vroom.
log entry ends
"I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue..."
Hoo boy. I’d better buckle up. 😂